This was a challenge on the old Skive forum. The goal was to write a short story that was 204 words in total. The first half could not contain the vowels 'i' or 'e'. The second half could not contain the vowels a, o or u. The following is my story, which due to the confines of the challenge ends up sounding rather obscure and also poem-like (poetic?). You be the judge.
By the way, I wrote the story out 'normally', then spent time removing the vowels and adding words or deleting them. The original story took maybe 10 minutes. The first half of the challenge - Only a, o, u - took half an hour. The second half (Only i & e) took several frustrating hours. Have a go and see how you do.
by Matthew Ward, 2007
Only a, o, u (102 words)
My blurry watch says two o'clock. You know, my aqua futon was bought for four thousand bucks but my cat, Phalanx, naps out on a cold porch floor. Gulls fly past but Phalanx looks not to a cloudy sky but down and across to my woman, Margot, who pours out cat food. Phalanx jumps up and runs along a dusty floor, looks up at Margot; a proud look says: "Good work!" Margot nods, walks away to work out my mood. "Want a Vodka rocks?" My look says 'No way'. Atom bombs blow up my skull as my lady adjusts a bra strap.
Only i & e (102 words)
My wife grins with spirited glee. I like the drink. She likes imbibing with me in the evenings yet my inexperience is dire, the effects severe. In the night time I feel better. I nibble fried chicken with brie cheese. I sip sweet, fine, red wine! Time slides by. In bed I lie with my wife. She likes gently riding me. She sleeps silently. The wind French kisses the dwelling. The wily feline is still peckish. It stretches, winks twice (instinct tells me this). By midnight I feel fine. I smile. I feel titled. (Next week I get my degree in English.)